You've heard some things too...you know you have!

Please leave your comments about things "overheard!"







Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sister Mary-Don't-Waddle-Down-the Aisle-Or-else...




I never quite understood why my parents insisted on us going to the Catholic church after their own near misses - Mom, who learned to be ambidextrious because the nuns at Catholic school hit her on the knuckles with a ruler for being left handed (which later proved to be a good thing in sports she excelled in such as golf, tennis and bowling)or Dad, who narrowly escaped becoming a priest or actually living after having to drive the priests around when he could barely see over the dashboard.

But off to CCD (Catholic Christian Doctrine?) and public school we went (a concession I'm sure)...where we dutifully did the sacraments. The CCD halls were a pretty interesting place to hear but not be heard, because that was back in the day where they believed that children should be seen but not heard. At the ripe old age of 8, I prepared to make my first holy communion. This came with really cool accessories plus a dress and veil that made you feel like you were getting married. And presents like little patent leather purses, and rosaries to assist you with your Neco Wafer Communion playdates. It also came with the first experience with the really scarey nuns. I remember bounding up 3000 steps and whipping that door open to make it to my class on time, only to be held back by a slow nun behind me who expected me to open the door and wait for her to go through first. Even though I was late. I think I have suffered from whiplash ever since.

Those of us who did the Catholic thing back in the day surely remember preparing for first holy communion as it was right up there as it was a prequel to wedding planning that should be happening about 9 years later because the Church did not believe in birth control. I remember this preparation being full of veiled threats: you MUST NOT bite the wafer - it had to dissolve even though it would stick to the roof of your mouth for like 3 hours; you MUST CROSS YOUR THUMBS in the sign of the cross when you clasped your hands together in prayer; and WHATEVER YOU DO - DO NOT WADDLE DOWN THE AISLE. WADDLING DOWN THE AISLE WILL RESULT ON YOU BEING YANKED OUT OF FIRST HOLY COMMUNION LINE in front of God and your parents.

For the life of me, at 8, I had no idea what waddling was and I was too afraid to ask. I just prayed with my clasped hands and crossed thumbs that Sister Anti-Waddle would not pull me out of the line. I must confess these early days at CCD were the beginnings of listening intently - too afraid of what might happen if I didn't.

But we'll save confession for another post!

No comments:

Post a Comment