When my twin boys were the ripe old age of about 9, ALL EARS started hearing about what "amazing soccer talent" they were. They could juggle that soccer ball hundreds of times; their short stature allowed them to have a low center of gravity and sneak around guys twice their size and BONUS! they were able to do that "twin thing" on the field. YEP, they were SELECT SOCCER MATERIAL. Parents of young children, always trust your instincts because my instincts told me this was mighty silly TO PAY, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, and spend countless hours, kicking a little ball around. But somewhere there was a pot o'goal - select soccer assured they could play high school soccer, could qualify for scholarships and of course, keep them occupied and off the street. I'm here to tell you that all three arguments proved false.
However, phone calls from other parents and coaches started coming and before you know it, we were sucked into the SELECT SPORTS pyramid scheme that goes something like this: the coach is part of a club; the club is divided into various levels of playing expertise and age groups; the club has a director of coaches and a trainer; every year or so, you have to purchase the entire soccer wardrobe: cleats, away uniform, home uniform, practice uniform, travel uniform; you have to attend camps and training; you have to travel with the team...so all along the line, the coach is making money, the trainer is making money, the Director is making money, Nike is making money and well, you are broke because YOU are paying right into the SELECT PYRAMID scheme. For which, you get the privilege of driving your kids all over God's Green Earth, watching your kids chase a ball around the field.
The bonus to this whole costs- more- than -state -school -college pyramid scheme is that you meet some pretty great people who will be your friends for life because you spend a lot of time drinking with them in the Holiday Inn Lobby (or if you are lucky and are with an uptown club, possibly the Hyatt) waiting to see if you advance or can go home from the tournament du jour. The downside is the things that you hear on the soccer field. All Ears would like to believe that she did not get sucked into the select parent vortex, but the truth be told, there was a moment where she told her son to get up after falling down, without first considering that he might be injured.
We heard some pretty amazing things from soccer parents, but probably my favorite was:
"Son get after it. No balls, no babies!"
However, phone calls from other parents and coaches started coming and before you know it, we were sucked into the SELECT SPORTS pyramid scheme that goes something like this: the coach is part of a club; the club is divided into various levels of playing expertise and age groups; the club has a director of coaches and a trainer; every year or so, you have to purchase the entire soccer wardrobe: cleats, away uniform, home uniform, practice uniform, travel uniform; you have to attend camps and training; you have to travel with the team...so all along the line, the coach is making money, the trainer is making money, the Director is making money, Nike is making money and well, you are broke because YOU are paying right into the SELECT PYRAMID scheme. For which, you get the privilege of driving your kids all over God's Green Earth, watching your kids chase a ball around the field.
The bonus to this whole costs- more- than -state -school -college pyramid scheme is that you meet some pretty great people who will be your friends for life because you spend a lot of time drinking with them in the Holiday Inn Lobby (or if you are lucky and are with an uptown club, possibly the Hyatt) waiting to see if you advance or can go home from the tournament du jour. The downside is the things that you hear on the soccer field. All Ears would like to believe that she did not get sucked into the select parent vortex, but the truth be told, there was a moment where she told her son to get up after falling down, without first considering that he might be injured.
We heard some pretty amazing things from soccer parents, but probably my favorite was:
"Son get after it. No balls, no babies!"
Love your view....and realism!
ReplyDelete